It missing our radios and you may tvs to exit you instead of pictures, in place of people maudlin sounds that lulled our past to bed back as soon as we still believed inside the trains of the seaside, at the ranch where Laura transmitted her milk churns towards the river to get to know the new prince toward horseback, making out brand new stamping steed to your lips such as Gwendolyns yard, given up as to the they titled like. They made united states purchase evening reading Barthes and you may Derrida until conditions arrived undone within hands and absolutely nothing had more value than simply what it might have got but don’t performed since if guarantees additionally the prior was you to definitely while the same. We can only love inactive ladies, with the house windows they looked nude and you can desolate, the most wonderful was the main one whoever system try secured during the down, a-dead child at the the lady breast. Our sight beheld only despair. All of our ears read simply strident, shrieked terms and conditions. No-one wanted to awaken us. They rejected united states new orchards, this new cities which have pubs and you may carriages, brand new serenity off cemeteries, the fresh new hearses radiant under the sun, brains more likely before lifeless as well as the fresh new time of your Angelus, this new enjoying plus the drunkenness of the grape secure, haylofts in which menchats hledat some body eventually offered united states its nude human body together with disclosure made you shout.
Laura was still good virgin. The lady people not yet whining regarding the yard. She greeted the newest staff of one’s Thetis anchored to your River Ouse, she traversed the new undulating character of slopes away from Sussex, beauty immersed for the charm, until during the Newhaven she receive water mist, a hairy hands digging for the the girl feet, violating the lady instead the woman understanding the like she don’t noticed for the, nor carry out previously. All women expelled off Heaven, condemned and you may quit, feel prostitutes. Try not to humiliate the brand new humiliated, stop injuring this new dry, usually do not profane charm. On computers windows we choose all of our shed term, he could be our recollections, it come back the past to united states. Our mother, a whore exactly who escaped the house immediately following birthing myself. She didnt for example my personal deal with, they wasnt telegenic, would never advertise detergent, delighted among bubbles. She didnt need certainly to wreck this lady breasts. Later in the day she emptied the lady milk products into restroom and i try awoken by the food cravings and also the bitter odor off the lady nipples.
And now I seek Laura, but she passed away, crucified. Their virginity offended men. Up until it quit us in this wasteland and this, regarding afar, appeared as if an enthusiastic unreal town, the newest Eden in which i need to not ever have noticed. The fresh new open floor is actually filled with the fresh new rotting cadavers off angels and you can, whenever an invisible give established the fresh new gates, we read the music one hears inside Eden however, there is certainly no body, zero path to go after, absolutely nothing to consider. I’d to help you invent my past, this facts I write understanding it’s just not particular once the certainty does not occur. We create Laura and she flees. Destined so you can creativeness, cursed from the her, I forget if the stop out-of weeks will come, whenever dawns will appear inside scary dark. I am aware, while the I’ve just finished inventing they, Laura is perhaps all women, her pubic locks, this lady armpits, the girl straight back where lizards repose, the woman empty look in which the sunshine sleeps. When i return to the country, am i going to remember this story? Can i recall the one who try mother, new broken girl, the required lady, the newest inhale away from charm and therefore now rejects me personally for all time? New harmful beginning away from Genesis, the worst vegetation?
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