The sad thing for men is that, if you are reading this article and these comments, you are almost certainly married, and sexually dissatisfied. Why? Well if you are middle aged, single, in good shape with a good job, you are NOT experiencing any type of sex-shortage whatsoever. I am speaking from experience and will not bore you with the details, except to say that it was NOT necessary to wine and dine in order to get them to come over to the apartment for wild sex. Astonishing, and if I did tell you the stories, I doubt you’d believe me. The problem is that we really do assume that it will continue into marriage, and it simply doesn’t. They realize if they pull that nonsense too often, they’ll quickly get replaced by a whole pack of much more willing women. However once a woman has your legal commitment of marriage, they realize you’re stuck and can’t do anything about it. If you go elsewhere then? Now you are the absolute scum of the earth and will receive condemnation from all sides. So you don’t stray. You take it. Eventually the puzzlement turns to frustration and bitterness. You begin to wonder why you didn’t see this coming? Why didn’t you just stay single and enjoy the sexual energy of the single and divorced women who are out there in droves? You begin to realize that being single conferred a great deal of respect on you from women. And that marriage doesn’t. This isn’t what women “say”, but their actions reveal the truth. Trust actions, not words. But its too late now. You’re already IN the marriage. Her parents love you, as do her friends, kids and coworkers. These are all good things, but are they worth losing frequent sex for? Probably not. It’s galling to be tricked like this with no recourse. All we can do is try to educate other men who are single not to repeat our mistakes. The only problem is they aren’t reading this article.
Don’t get married. Its the only advice old men can give young men but they will never listen like we never listened. When we entered relationship it was based on certain facts that existed. Relationships are a bargain between 2 people based an assumptions about the other based on facts that exist when entering the relationship . Some key facts were having sex and existence of affection. So she went off sex, for complex reasons. But in the end it boils down to she broke the bargain but still expects me to give my side of the bargain, affection and commitment. So I don’t get my part of deal because honeymoon period is over, but Im expected to accept and not go get it elsewhere. So I nearly do this, and the response? Im told its called furious coupling, sex is thrown at me to keep me. Threat averted and you can guess the rest. So finally I have reciprocated and as bargain is broken neither of us is performing, all affection removed. I give total commitment, but no affection. And guess how that makes her feel? She spent more than I earned. She got a job because she said didn’t feel valued and staying home is so hard – didn’t need to as I earned a lot. Now she moans about how hard her job is, and spends even more than we earn. I am a cold uncaring selfish emotional cripple apparently, but she is a normal loving wife. This self validation comes from her own peer group and endless wingey sudo empowerment books. Men are expected to woo a woman. Women flaunt themselves in highly revealing clothes and heavily painted to look like something underneath they are not. Meetoo my arse, there is only 1 reason you show half your t**s and a**e in thongs and bikinis so barely there you have to wax and super figure hugging dresses. You sexualise yourselves, not gor you girlfriends but to be attractive to men to feel desired. Then you get your man, he did the work and chased you, you got busy, now heres the real life deal YOU have to keep attracting him, its your turn to work, for ever. Stop bothering, as you do and wtf do you expect to happen. You still get all the love and he should be grateful for whatever you can be bothered to give? Women forget, men don’t change like you do. Why is it supposed to be acceptable to break your bargain ? Its not. Smart guys don’t marry, so called afraid of commitment types – funny its women call them that. Stupid guys get suckered in, really stupid guys repeat this, marry divorce marry divorce. We never lean
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